The Republican Debate was this week and even though I tweeted, thought I’d sum it up for those of you who don’t have the time or inclination for Twitter.
The Presidential Race is already starting again. It’s way too early, but so far I’m voting ‘no’ for everyone. Continue reading
What an awesome win at the US Open. I cried when he hugged his Dad. I don’t cry often. Sometimes I cry when the GEICO lizard gets sad, but usually he’s having a good laugh. It’s rare when the Irish come in first at anything. If drinking earned medals, we’d kick everyone’s ass. I think the Russians would give us a good run, but fuck you, Vladimir; we will give up our souls to win a drinking competition. We only won one medal in the Beijing Olympics and that was a boxer who probably wasn’t even “officially” entered. Probably just a drunk Irish guy who got a weird look from some Chinese guy in a bar and started punching Chinese people ’til he accidentally won a gold medal. And yes, I am admittedly a Tiger hater. I’d like to state my Tiger hating began pre-I slept with 900 women other than my wife and the one who works at the Waffle House. I don’t care what he does off the course. My brother and I have argued for years over this because he is not a Tiger hater. He says Tiger plays with “passion.” I say, “Yeah, whatever, Patrick. You … Continue reading
Chaz Bono was on Oprah this week to discuss her transition to becoming a man. I’ve watched those specials on TV about people who feel trapped in the wrong body and I believe them. They all say they wanna kill themselves if they can’t switch so I’m gonna go ahead and say they’re telling the truth. I’ve also watched 10 Larry King shows where he’s tried to understand these people but can’t and still can’t understand who they’re sleeping with now or why. “Wait, are you gay? You were gay and you’re still gay? Why? Are you straight? Do the parts work? Who’d you like before? Men or women? Let’s take a break.” Yes, Larry, let’s do. Larry trying to understand is more entertaining than if Larry actually became a woman. I feel happy that Chaz has gone ahead and gotten the surgery that will finally make her feel like she’s in the right body. I can’t imagine feeling like you’re in the wrong body. As much as I’ve drank and smoked, I can’t even really feel my own body and that’s fine with me. I’m Chaz’s age and I can’t imagine having the energy to have elective surgery of … Continue reading
Well we’ve established Obama was born in this country. Whew. Thank…you…DONALD. You are a can-do big barking dog. It’s been weighing heavy on four nut job’s minds in this country for years. Now they can relax and watch Swamp People like normal happy Americans (I include myself in this group). I can’t believe people give a shit even if he wasn’t born here. I don’t care if he’s a Martian. Seriously, I’d soooo vote for a Martian. I’d actually prefer a Martian. I’d campaign for the little guy. We could use an alien in charge. It’d put the fear of God in the jackass politicians who get nothing done if they knew the small Martian president could evaporate them simply by pointing his finger their way. And as an aside, I find it odd that Donald and Rosie are constantly fighting as they are now the exact same size. I also saw Ann Coulter weigh in on the birth certificate issue and I’m not sure what she was saying because I could only focus on the size of her adam’s apple which is larger than any tranny bartender’s in West Hollywood. Tonight’s conversation, somewhere in America, in a basement … Continue reading