No one likes the pro bowl. Not even the players. Maybe the spouses because I’m sure there’s good swag, but I’m not interested in a stranger’s spouse getting free hats. I’m sure it’s nice to be nominated and get the cash but if I’m gonna watch a bunch of millionaires do their job in a half ass careless manner, I’d rather watch Congress. The Pro Bowl started in 1951 and it seems like something from the 50′s. It’s so outdated, it should be shown in black and white. And we should air the commercials that were airing them. The entire concept is meaningless so I’m throwing this out to King Goodell… Continue reading
A couple weeks ago, I turned on the Weather Channel because I was flying to the east coast and wanted to see what I was flying into. The screen was black and it said, “The Weather Channel is no longer available. Please tune into Weather Nation.” OMG. Did my TV weather pals get attacked and I didn’t read about it? What about Jim Cantore? Surely that would have been on Twitter. What does this mean, “no longer available?” Are they hurt? Did they all quit? I called my friend with cable. No, my TV weather pals were alive and fine and the Weather Channel is most definitely available. He still had it. Direct TV couldn’t come to an agreement with them. I don’t care what the problem is because there’s nothing I can do about it so I don’t want to hear whose fault it is. I mean, unless it’s like a matter of a $500 difference, then I’d be glad to chip in. And no, I won’t blame The Weather Channel because I didn’t make an agreement with them. I made it with Direct TV. Continue reading
I like to take Gap model pics because they make me laugh. A few weeks ago I was a guest on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and so was Newt Gingrich. His staff people, or whatever politicians call their posse, seemed nice so when I met Newt I asked him if he would take a silly picture with me. He said “Sure. Tell me what to do.” So I told him what to do. He didn’t really get the “sad” part down, but he tried and was a good sport and quite friendly. I liked him. I don’t usually agree with him and I’m aware of just about every public fact about his not so stellar private life, but I liked meeting him. And I wanted to take a nap on his belly. He was soft, warm and snuggly. It was like being hugged by a Republican Teddy Ruxpin. So, I posted this picture on Twitter. For a laugh. I am a comedian. I am not a philosopher, politician or anything else to be taken seriously. It says “comedian” right there on my Twitter profile. Well, after posting it, I was slammed with hate posts from people on the left. They couldn’t believe I would pose in a picture with him and call him a good sport. Well, I did and he was. I was shocked that anyone takes anything I do seriously because I certainly don’t and I’m the one in charge of me. Even writing that sentence hurt my head. Nonetheless, people did take it seriously and reacted with the usual awful amount of hate social media can drum up. I think anonymity empowers people in the worst ways but I really couldn’t believe it. Continue reading
For people who don’t golf, the Masters is a tournament played in Augusta, Georgia every April. It’s one of the four “major” tournaments and the only one always played at the same course. It is so revered that many times when the announcers speak, there’s soft guitar music being played in the background for a reason never explained. I think if that was done in real life, it would greatly reduce violence. It’s hard to get angry while falling asleep to soft guitar chords echoing in your ear. Continue reading
If anyone is tempted to take my blogs seriously, please keep in mind I’m typing this on Microsoft Word 2003. I’m really not a person to be taken seriously.
I was going to write about politics, but I had so much fun watching the Grammy awards I thought I’d share a few thoughts. I love Adele. I love Jennifer Hudson. I like Katy Perry. I love Mumford and Sons. That being said, let’s go through some things that ran through my mind.