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Valentine’s Day Survival Advice for Singles from Kathleen Madigan

By Jeryl Brunner
February 13, 2015

It’s Valentine’s Day and you don’t have a Valentine.“I know, it’s just another reminder that you are home alone watching House Hunters with your cat,” says comedian Kathleen Madigan who has appeared on Leno, Letterman, Ferguson, O’Brien, the View, and a slew of other TV shows. But seriously, take a breath. Don’t panic, advises Madigan. The single gal and House Hunters fan shares how to ride out the day while having a couple of kicks in the process.

“I’ve been single all these years on Valentine’s Day. It doesn’t particularly bother me cause comedians on the road don’t really know what day it is. All I know is on holidays I make a lot of extra money. But I used to tell my sister, ‘just ignore the fact that it’s Valentine’s Day. Wake up and pretend it’s St. Patrick’s Day. Get some green food coloring and pour it in your beer, into your coffee, into everything. In your mind it’s going to be St. Patrick’s Day all day long. And if you start drinking green beer early enough, by 4pm you won’t care that day it is.’”

“Focus on the great parts about being single. Take a picture of yourself in bed wearing your pajamas with all the covers to yourself, all the pillows and extra money. Because that’s what married couples don’t have. They don’t get the bed to themselves anymore. They usually don’t have extra cash because they’re spending it on kids. The joy of being single is that you don’t have to think about anybody else. Guess what I’m going to have for dinner tonight? Who cares! I’m going to do what I want!”

“Listen to the most depressing song about love, which is the greatest song ever written — – George Jones’ country song “He Stopped Loving Her Today.” And then decide if you really want to get into a relationship.

“This is really dark but I like it. If you’re really depressed that it’s Valentine’s Day and you’re single, rent a movie that’s a love story where one of them dies at the end. You get to think, that is person single but they had to go through all crap to get back to where I already am. And I’VE never been sad like that. You’ll feel so much better about yourself.”

“Valentine’s night can also be the greatest night in the world ever to go to your favorite sports bar and have it all to yourself. Because there’s no way a guy is going to invite the woman he’s with for a romantic dinner at a sports bar. I really like sports bars. Some women like them. But that’s not what you picture on Valentine’s Day. Most people are going to fancy restaurants so the rest of the places are empty. Boom! That’s why it’s a great night.”

“Because there’s so many of us, my parents hope nobody else gets married and has kids because that means more babysitting for them. But if your parents are on really on you, put it on them. Say, ‘you’re right. It’s a horrible existence and I am so sad. So what are you going to do about it to make me happy today? It would be great if you could send an extra present. Or maybe drop a bucket of beer on the front porch or send over a pizza, that’d be nice.’ Throw it right back at them.”

“People focus on, oh my God, I’m single, that’s so depressing. Not really. If you really want to know depressing, call one of your unhappily married friends and ask them how it’s going.”

“Cry if you have to, but then it has to lead into laughing at some point. Really, Hallmark made up this holiday. Why are we going to let a card company from Kansas City make us feel terrible?”



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Kathleen Madigan (Variety Playhouse Feb. 28) stays focused on her comedy

By: Rodney Ho
Atlanta Journal Courier
February 12, 2015

Kathleen Madigan is one of those stand-up comics who comes across so casually and comfortably on stage, she could just as easily be in your living room with a glass of chardonnay after dinner just hanging out.

Her low-key charm is decidedly anti-Kardashian. She isn’t all about bolstering her brand. She isn’t creating a line of jewelry or coming up with a reality show focused on herself. She isn’t gunning for a starring role on a sitcom.

Madigan just loves to stand up on a stage and tell stories.

She will talk to the press to promote her comedy dates, including her upcoming two shows at the Variety Playhouse Feb. 28. She found Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch’s reluctance to speak to media before the Super Bowl grating.

“He was being a big baby,” she said. “My Midwestern work ethic has no patience for that. Just answer the questions and be gone.”

Madigan has been in the comedy game for a quarter century. She has been able to make a good living spinning jokes. And she likes the freedom of being the boss. But she is big enough that she has folks handling her booking, her books, her publicity, even her online presence. “I don’t really want to be a boss but I have to have employees,” she said.

She is no Donald Trump. Her firing style tends to be as laid back and real as her stand-up. She said she often remains friends with them. “Usually, they know it’s not working out. They end up agreeing with me,” she said.

Her best buddy is Lewis Black, the irascible stand-up who is performing at Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre May 1. “He has a tour manager, a bus driver, a merchandise guy. I sometimes hang out with him on the road. It’s fun but not fun enough for me to deal with all that responsibility.”

She is popular enough in Atlanta that she can do two dates at the 1,000-seat capacity Variety, where she performed last in 2013.

“It’s kind of raw,” Madigan said. “It’s kind of clubby. I like the vibe. I’d rather do two shows there than one in a larger theater that feels sterile and uptight. Some of these places, I feel like I should be doing a lecture on dolphins, they’re so serious.”

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Here’s an Idea….Brian Williams

Kathleen has a bit of advice for Brian Williams



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5 Around Town’s 5 favorite things about Kathleen Madigan at Charleston Music Hall

By Dani Dudek
Feb 09, 2015

Comedian Kathleen Madigan performed at the Charleston Music Hall on Saturday with opening act Vic Henley. Madigan has appeared in numerous TV talk shows and has her own one hour special called “Gone Madigan” that premiered on Showtime and is now available on Netflix Here are our 5 Around Town five favorite moments of the packed show in Charleston.

1 – When the Alabama born Henley talked football in the South, he called Steve Spurrier “the head cock” and joked about how silly the rest of the country is for thinking their teams are real football teams.

2 – Henley’s Paula Deen accent is spot on. His recipe for fried lard? Not so much.

3 – Joking about Bill Cosby’s alter ego, Madigan said, “He’s not Cliff Huxtable! I wouldn’t see a cast member from Gillian’s Island and wonder, how’d they make it off the island?”

4 – When making a very timely statement about the Brian Williams scandal, Madigan told a story about being on an overseas mission with Lance Armstrong. “I had to listen to Lance talk about himself for two hours and didn’t throw him out of helicopter. I shoulda gotten a medal!”

5 – Discussing how to get people to cough up money for any kind of fundraiser, Madigan suggests using Sarah McLaughlin. Have you seen those sad animal ads? That’s the way you make things happen!

The laughs didn’t stop there. Madigan followed up her night in Charleston by live tweeting the Grammys, making statements like, “Kanye wore his best Al Sharpton velour track suit tonight. He and Kim deserve each other.”

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Kathleen Madigan is one happy stand-up

By: Maria Martin
Charleston City Paper
February 4, 2015

Kathleen Madigan has performed on every late night show you can think of, from The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and The Late Show with David Letterman to Conan and The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. She’s also done many comedy specials — one of which, Madigan Again, is currently available to stream on Netflix — and won several comedy awards, including the American Comedy Award for Best Female Comedian.

But the comedian began her comedy career on a whim. Twenty-five years ago, she was working as a bartender next door to a comedy club and one day, she and a friend went to the club for a drink. The comedy club happened to be hosting an open mic night, and she and her friend each tried it out for fun. After that, Madigan just kept doing it. “You just keep going to open mic nights until you get enough time to do, like, 10 solid minutes,” she says. “Then there are gigs around every city that pay $20, $50, and you just hope you get asked to do one of those.”

Through her persistence, Madigan’s comedy career emerged. She can’t point to one moment when she realized that she was going to be able to make it as a comedian. “It’s kind of a day-by-day thing. There’s no one thing or time or moment, you just keep doing something every day, and you just keep getting a little bit better each day,” she says. “It’s very, very slow.”

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