Well we’ve established Obama was born in this country. Whew. Thank…you…DONALD. You are a can-do big barking dog. It’s been weighing heavy on four nut job’s minds in this country for years. Now they can relax and watch Swamp People like normal happy Americans (I include myself in this group). I can’t believe people give a shit even if he wasn’t born here. I don’t care if he’s a Martian. Seriously, I’d soooo vote for a Martian. I’d actually prefer a Martian. I’d campaign for the little guy. We could use an alien in charge. It’d put the fear of God in the jackass politicians who get nothing done if they knew the small Martian president could evaporate them simply by pointing his finger their way.
And as an aside, I find it odd that Donald and Rosie are constantly fighting as they are now the exact same size. I also saw Ann Coulter weigh in on the birth certificate issue and I’m not sure what she was saying because I could only focus on the size of her adam’s apple which is larger than any tranny bartender’s in West Hollywood.
Tonight’s conversation, somewhere in America, in a basement with a blinking beer sign:
“Bullshit. He just ain’t from America. He ain’t proved it.”
“Well today they done said he proved he was born in Hawaii.”
“Like I said, dumbass, he wasn’t born here. Hawaii ain’t here. It’s an island, like Gilligan’s.”
“Well they count Alaska and that’s a island. Pass me a beer.”
“That’s attached, dumbass. By a big ass bridge. It’s right by Utah and Hong Kong. Look at a map. Goddamn, you hurt my brain.”
“Well what about Puerto Rico….is that a state?”
“I don’t know shit about Puerto Rico and I don’t care to know about the Mexicans from there.”
“If you don’t throw that dart, I’m gonna take it and shove it up your ass.”
“Shut it Bob. I’ll throw when I aim right. I ain’t throwing all crazy and losing a six pack because you don’t know logistical geographical stuff. You need to understand, the man is from Kenya. Plain and simple.”
“Fuck if I know but it ain’t near here or I’d have heard about it at bowling. And it ain’t in the constitution. I know that.”
“I quit bowling because it’s bullshit to charge $6 a game when it don’t cost them nothin…I brought my own shoes and ball. It’s just plain ass bullshit.”
“And that’s why you’re single and playin darts with me Bob. You don’t get it. You never did. I’ll say it again Bob, where are the hot chicks? JOYFULL COMSIC LANES Bob. You think I’d have found Trudy in this basement? No bob. No. Listen to me, Obama is bullshit. He’s foriegn, like a fire ant in Canadia. Bowling is real. And American. Do you see the Chinese bowling Bob? No, you don’t.”
God Bless America.